Topic: Relationship With

Important Words:

رفث (going in unto) has a number of meanings: amatory talk, kissing, caressing, embracing, compressing, coition, etc.; in fact, everything that a man desires of his wife. When رفث is followed by the preposition الی it means, coition or going in unto one’s wife, and it is in this sense that the word has been used here. رفث also means, immodest, foul and lewd talk or speech (Lane).

تختانون (you have been acting unjustly) is derived from خان. They say خانه i.e. he acted unfaithfully or perfidiously towards him; he was not faithful to the trust reposed in him. اختانه is like خانه, giving the same meaning. It also means, he acted wrongfully or unjustly towards him. The Arabs say خانته رجلاه i.e. his feet or legs acted unfaithfully towards him, meaning he was unable to walk. تختانون انفسکم would, therefore, mean, you failed to give your souls (i.e. yourselves) their due either (1) by preventing them from their duty to God, or (2) by refusing them the satisfaction of their natural and lawful cravings. The former act is a sin, while the latter, though not a sin, may endanger one’s health or deprive one of just happiness. The word has been used in both these senses in the Quran. In 4:108, it has been used in the sense of "sin", while in the present verse it has been used in the sense of "depriving the soul of the gratification of its natural and just desires".

عفاعنکم (afforded you relief). The word عفا gives a number of meanings (see 2:53). The expression عفاالله عن فلان is sometimes used where there is no question of pardoning any sin or obliterating traces thereof but simply in the sense of removing one’s mistake or misunderstanding or improving one’s condition or bestowing honour on one (Aqrab). It also means, making things easy, i.e. affording relief (Muhit).

باشروھن (go in unto them) is derived from بشر from which is also derived the word بشارة or بشری meaning, glad tidings. The expression بشربه means, he became glad and happy because of that. The words بشرالجلد mean, he removed or peeled off its skin. البشرة means, outer part of skin, or what is visible of the face or body. باشرالمرأة means, he came in contact with his wife skin to skin; he went in unto her. البشری (glad tidings) is so called because it changes the colour of the listener’s face. البشر (man) is also so called because, unlike other animals, man’s skin is visible and not concealed under hair (Aqrab, Mufradat & Lane).

Commentary:

It was a custom among the Israelites to abstain from all kinds of food from one evening to the other on the occasion of the fast of the Atonement Day, the only fast prescribed by Moses for his people. When fasts were first prescribed for Muslims, and details had not yet been revealed, they thought that, like the Jews, they too would have to fast for 24 hours with a slight intervening breakfast. Hence, following their own judgement, they concluded that it was lawful for them to eat and drink and to go in unto their wives only as long as they did not go to bed, and that after they had gone to sleep, they were not allowed to partake of any food or drink or to go in unto their wives until the next evening. Bukhari gives the following tradition on the authority of Bara’: "When the command to fast was revealed, if anybody kept a fast and then went to sleep in the evening, he abstained from eating, drinking and sexual intercourse until the time for breaking the fast the following day" (Bukhari ch. on Saum). This tradition and others of the same import show that it was not in obedience to any command from God or the Holy Prophet that his Companions abstained from sexual intercourse after going to bed at night, but it was owing to their own imitation of similar customs among the People of the Book that they had imposed these restrictions on themselves. As, however, these restrictions were against the will of God, a revelation was soon sent down allowing the Faithful to eat and drink and approach their wives as they liked during the night; only they were forbidden to do so while fasting during the day.

Some commentators have inferred from the words, you have been acting unjustly to yourselves, that the Companions of the Holy Prophet were unable to act upon the commandment to abstain from intercourse with their wives during the nights of fasts and frequently broke it. But this is evidently wrong, for the good reason that there was no such commandment to be broken. Moreover, the words of the Quran, i.e. you may now go in, also belie this interpretation, for the use of the word "now" clearly indicates that the Companions of the Holy Prophet were erring not on the side of indulgence but on that of abstinence. The Quran could not obviously say, you may now go in, to a people who were already going in unto their wives.

The clause, they are a garment for you and you are a garment for them, very beautifully describes the object of marriage. The verse points out that the object of marriage is not the gratification of carnal passions. The real object is the comfort, protection and embellishment of the parties, for such are the uses of a garment as explained in 7:27 & 16:82. Thus in a very few words, the Quran has described the true relationship that should exist between husband and wife, a description which has hardly a parallel in any other scripture.

The clause, the white thread becomes distinct from the black thread of the dawn, does not refer to the thread made of yarn but to the streak of light that appears along the eastern horizon at the time of dawn. The verse enjoins that from dawn till sunset Muslims should abstain from food and drink and intercourse while fasting. But they are free to have recourse to these things between sunset and dawn. At places where days and nights are unusually long, i.e. nearer the poles, calculation should be made for the purpose of fasting on the basis of average conditions, i.e. in such a case day and night would each be supposed to be of twelve hours’ duration (Muslim, ch. on Ashratus-Sa‘at). The clause, while you remain in the mosques for devotion, refers to the practice of اعتکاف which is observed by remaining in the mosque, night and day, during the last ten days of Ramadan. During these days, the devotee who decides to observe اعتکاف is not to leave the mosque except from human necessity, i.e. to answer a call of nature, etc. He enters the mosque on the morning of the 20th of Ramadan

and abides therein till the end of the month, fasting from daybreak to sunset and occupying himself in prayer or recitation of the Quran or other religious study or meditation. During اعتکاف (I‘tikaf), which is, as it were, the consummation of the spirit of fasting, intercourse with wives and preliminaries thereto are not allowed even at night time. The clause, these are the limits fixed by Allah, so approach them not, points to the very important principle that a man can attain true piety only if he refrains from even "approaching" the things that have been forbidden by God. "Some acts," says the Holy Prophet "are of doubtful character, one not knowing whether they are right or wrong. It is always better to avoid these. The forbidden things are like a pasture-land which the Wise God prohibits to the people. If you make your beasts graze on the borders of such land, i.e. allow your beasts to approach near them, there is danger of their trespassing upon the prohibited area" (Bukhari, ch, on Iman). This is an extremely wise injunction which cuts at the root of all trespass. Only those can protect themselves against sin who give all unlawful things a wide berth. The final clause, that they may become secure against evil, repeats the idea contained in 2:184 in which the subject of fasting was first introduced. In both verses the underlying object of fasting has been stated to be the attainment of تقوی i.e. piety, righteousness and protection against evil, which are all different forms of divineblessings. The reader may, with advantage, compare this idea with the belief of the Christians that the Law is a curse (Gal. 3:10, 13).

Important Words:

حرث (tilth). See 2: 206.

انی (how and when) means: (1) how; (2) when; and (3) where (Aqrab).

قدموا (send ahead) is derived from قدم meaning, he came or stepped forward. قدم (qaddama) means, be sent forward or sent ahead; he put forward; he offered. قدم لنفسه means, he did good or evil that will in future bear good or bad fruit for himself. قدمه علی غیره means, he preferred him to others. قدم له الثمن means, he paid him the price in advance (Aqrab). The Quran uses this expression to point out that whatever good or evil deed a man does, serves like a seed to bear a future crop. No action is ever lost.

مؤمنین (those who obey) is derived from آمن meaning: (1) he believed; (2) he obeyed (Aqrab). Here it gives the latter meaning. For a fuller discussion of this word see 2:4.

Commentary:

This verse constitutes an eloquent testimony to the inimitably pure and dignified language of the Quran. An extremely delicate subject has been dealt with in a most decent and discreet manner, and the whole philosophy of marriage and conjugal relations has been given in one brief sentence, i.e. Your wives are a tilth for you. A woman is indeed like a tilth in which the seed of progeny is sown. The expression has a twofold significance depending on the meaning of the words اتوا حرثکم (approach your tilth). If approaching the tilth means coition, then the expression approach your tilth how you like would signify that: (1) you should go in unto your wife in a manner suited to her capacity as a tilth and in no other manner; and (2) that both of you should try to keep your hearts pure at the time of coition so that the issue of the process may also share that purity. Says the Holy Prophet, "When the husband goes in unto his wife, they should both pray to God saying, 'Our Lord, keep both of us away from Satan; and if Thou grant us an issue, keep that also away from him' " (Muslim Kitabun-Nikah).

On the contrary, if "approaching the tilth" means selecting and dealing with the wife, the expression approach your tilth how you like would mean: (1) That you should select a wife who is best suited as a tilth, i.e. (a) she should be ولودviz. capable of producing children and not barren; (b) she should be healthy, capable of producing healthy children; (c) she should be well qualified to give good training to the children; and (d) she should be ودود i.e. of loving nature so that there may reign an atmosphere of love and harmony in the house and the children may benefit by it. (2) That you should look after and treat your wife well so that her life may be happy and contented and she may become best disposed to bring up the children well. (3) That you should keep yourselves also in a state of good physical and moral health so that your seed for your tilth may also be healthy in every respect.

A wise husbandman selects the best soil, prepares the best tilth, secures the best seed, and chooses the best time and manner of sowing it. So should you, for on the harvest which you are to reap in the form of children depends not only your own but also your community’s entire future. It is to this supreme fact that the clause, and send ahead some good for yourselves, so pointedly refers. In short, the likening of woman to tilth throws a flood of light on the morality of eugenics and sex. But the real basis of all happiness and progress is the fear of God and in the words, fear Allah and know that you shall meet Him, the Quran warns the Faithful never to lose sight of the real object of marriage even in the heat of carnal passions for even the seat of these passions is the source of the procreation of children and the continuation of a good race on the earth. Finally, the clause, and bear glad tidings to those who obey, contains a mighty بشارة (good news) for those who may obey this injunction, for it would not only make their own lives supremely happy but would also secure for them the best progeny for all time.

31:15; 46:16.

65:7.

2:287; 6:153; 7:43; 23:63; 65:8.

Important Words:

یرضعن (give suck) is derived from رضع i.e. he (the babe) sucked. ارضعت means, she (the mother or the wet-nurse) gave suck to the child. استرضع means, he arranged for the suckling of the child; he engaged a wet-nurse for it. The infinitive-noun رضاعة signifies sucking. ھذا اخی من الرضاعة means, he is my foster-brother, both having sucked from the breast of the same woman (Aqrab & Lane).

حولین (two years) is the dual of حول (a year) which is the infinitive-noun from حال meaning, it passed and became complete, or it passed from one state to another, or it turned round. A year is called حول because it is a complete measure of time and turns round and round. حول also means strength and power to do a thing as in the well-known formula لاحول ولاقوة الابالله (Aqrab).

وسعھا (its capacity) is derived from وسع meaning, it was sufficiently capacious. وسعت رحمة الله کل شیء means, God’s mercy extends to, and covers, all things. وسع means capacity or power or strength. The infinitive-noun from it is سعة meaning, breadth; extent, capaciousness; capacity and power. ذوسعة means, a man of means or a man of ample means (Aqrab).

تکلف (is burdened) is derived from کلف. They say کلفه امرا i.e. he imposed on him the task of doing a thing, or he tasked him to do a thing. It also means, he ordered him to do a thing which was difficult or troublesome or inconvenient (Lane).

فصال (weaning the child) is derived from فصل which is both transitive and intransitive, meaning, he separated, he divided, he partitioned; or he got separated, he went forth from. فصلت المرأة رضیعھا means, the woman weaned her child, which is also a sort of separation between the woman and her suckling. ھذایوم الفصل means, this is the day when a decision or a distinction shall be made between the parties, i.e. the doers of good and the doers of evil. فصال means, the weaning of a child from its mother or from the woman who suckles it (Taj).

تشاور (consultation) is derived from شار. They say شارالعسل i.e. he extracted honey from the honey-comb. شارالدابة means, he rode the beast in order to try it and ascertain its worth. اشار besides giving the same meaning as شار, also means, he made a thing known, he pointed to a thing, he gave a word of good counsel to a person. شاوره means, he consulted him, he sought his advice and counsel. تشاور means, mutual consultation. مشورة and شوری give similar meanings, i.e. consultation (Aqrab).

Commentary:

If a woman is divorced while she is pregnant, the question of the suckling of the child and the expense of bringing it up naturally arises. The verse under comment supplies the answer. It points out that the suckling of the child should last for two years at the maximum. But it is allowable to discontinue it before the end of that period, if the father and the mother both agree on that course. The verse also implies that the child is not to be weaned before the end of two years without the consent of its mother.

The expression لاتضار is both in the active and the passive voice; the clause لاتضار والدة بولدھا may therefore mean that: (1) the mother shall not make the father suffer on account of her child; and (2) the mother shall not be made to suffer on account of her child; and both meanings are equally good and equitable. The words مولودله (he to whom the child belongs) have been used here in preference to the simpler word والد (father), in order to point to the inherent right of the father to possess the child and to his natural responsibility for its maintenance.

The clause, and the same is incumbent on the heir, lays down an important social principle. If a father dies leaving behind a child, it is the duty of his heirs to bring up the child and maintain it until it reaches puberty. This shall not be considered an act of favour on their part, but an act of duty. One who inherits the property of a deceased person is duty bound to bring up the children the latter may leave behind. He who receives a support from another must be prepared to give the same to him, when he may stand in need of it.

2:229.

2:238; 4:33.

Important Words:

قوامون (guardians) is derived from قام i.e. he stood. They say قام علیه i.e. he tended or took care of it or him. قام بالیتم means, he maintained the orphan. قام علی المرأة means, he undertook the maintenance of the woman; he undertook or managed her affairs; he protected her, or became her guardian. قوم الشیء (qawwama) means, he set the thing right, or made it straight or even. قوام therefore means, one who manages affairs well; a ruler or governor; one in a position to issue orders (Lane & Aqrab).

قانتات (obedient) is the plural of قانتة being the active participle from قنت. They say قنت لله i.e. he was obedient to God. امرأة قنوت means, a woman humble, submissive and obedient to her husband (Lane). See also 2:117.

نشوز (disobedience) is the noun-infinitive from نشز i.e. he rose or raised himself. نشزت المرأة علی زوجھا means, the woman rose against, or was disobedient to her husband and exalted herself against him and resisted him and was an evil companion to him. نشز المرء علی زوجته means, the husband treated his wife unjustly and was unkind to her or forsook her or hated her and was an evil companion to her (Lane & Aqrab).

اھجروھن (leave them alone). ھجر means, he cut him off from friendly or loving communion or intercourse; he forsook or abandoned him; he "cut" him, i.e. he boycotted him and ceased to speak to him or to associate with him. ھجر الشیء means, he forsook, or abandoned the thing; he shunned or avoided it. ھجر زوجته means, he separated himself from his wife or kept away from her (Lane & Mufradat).

اضربوھن (chastise them) is derived from ضرب. They say ضربه i.e. he beat, struck, smote or hit him (with hand, stick, etc.); hence, he chastised him.

علیا (High) is derived from علا i.e. he or it was or became high, elevated, lofty or exalted. تعالی means, he was or became high, elevated, exalted or supremely exalted or extolled. علی means high, elevated or lofty in rank, condition or state. العلیwhich is one of the attributive names of God (e.g. 2:256) means, the High; the Most High; He above Whom is nothing. المتعالی is also an attributive name of God (e.g. 13:10) meaning, He Who is Great or Supremely Great, the High or the Most High; One Higher than every other high one. تعال means, come thou, as if said by a man in a high place when calling upon a man in a low place, but is also used generally (Lane).

Commentary:

The verse gives two reasons why man has been made the head of the family: (a) his superior mental and physical powers; (b) his being bread-earner and maintainer of the family. It is natural and fair that he who earns and supplies the money should have the final say in the disposal of affairs.

The word قانتات (obedient) spoken of wives may mean either obedient to God, or to husbands.

The expression, guard the secrets of their husbands, means that when the husbands are at home, they are obedient to them and guard their secrets; and when they are away, they not only guard their secrets but take care of their property and guard their own chastity.

The clause, leave them alone in their beds, may mean: (a) abstention from conjugal relations with them; (b) sleeping in separate beds; or (c) ceasing to talk to them. The use of the word "beds" also incidentally implies that the disobedient wives are to stay at home and are not to be allowed to leave or be turned out of their homes.

The measures mentioned in the verse are not to remain in force for an indefinite period, for wives are not to be left like a thing suspended (4:130). Four months, according to the Quran, is the utmost limit for abstention from conjugal relations, i.e. for practical separation (2:227).

If the husband deems the affair to be sufficiently grave, he will have to observe the conditions mentioned in 4:16.

Regarding "chastisement" mentioned as a last resort in the verse under comment a Companion reports the Holy Prophet to have said that if at all a Muslim has to beat his wife, the beating should not be such as to leave any mark on her body (Tirmidhi, ch. on Rida‘). According to Abu Dawud and Nasa’i, the Holy Prophet forbade the beating of women at all, but when ‘Umar complained that they had become refractory, he gave the permission with the aforementioned condition; but on complaint of ill-treatment of women by their husbands he indignantly said that the husbands who beat their wives were not the best among men (Kathir, iii). On another occasion the Holy Prophet is reported to have said: "The best among you is he who treats his wife best and I am the best of you in this respect" (Tirmidhi).

The Divine attributes of "High and Great" mentioned at the end of the verse are also intended to warn husbands that the chastisement of their wives, if at all resorted to should not be unjust or vindictive or highhanded; for if they are high and great above their wives, there is One Who is High and Great above all and He shall call husbands to account for any improper use of the qualified authority given to them over their wives.

4:129.

Important Words:

حکما (arbiter) is fromحکم. They say حکمه i.e. he made him judge. حکمor حاکم means, one who judges, a judge, an arbiter, an arbitrator or umpire between people; a ruler or governor (Lane).

Commentary:

The pronoun, used in the plural number, in the expression إن خفتم (if you fear) refers to a Muslim State, or community, or the people generally. The arbiters should prefer-ably be chosen from the relations of the contending parties, because they are expected to be acquainted with the real cause of differences and it is easier also for both parties to put their case before them. The verse makes it clear that Islam leaves no avenue unexplored to bring about reconciliation between husband and wife before it allows them to sever the tie of marriage.

4:4.

Important Words:

یستفتونك (they seek of thee the decision of the Law) and یفتیکم (gives you His decision) are both derived from فتو or فتی i.e.he was or became youthful, or he was in the prime of life. فتا الرجل means, he surpassed the man in فتوة i.e. in generosity. افتاه فی الامر means, he made known or explained to him the decision of the Shari‘ah respecting the matter; or he gave him an answer stating the decision of the Law respecting a question. استفتیت الفقیه فی الامر means, I asked or sought of the jurist or the lawyer or the learned man the decision of the Shari‘ah respecting the matter. فتوی therefore means, an explanation or notification or pronouncement of the decision of the Law in some dubious or difficult matter given by a jurist or a lawyer or a man learned in religious Law. استفتاء means, asking or seeking of a jurist or a lawyer or a learned man the decision of the Law (Shari‘ah) in a certain dubious or difficult matter (Lane & Aqrab). The expression إفتا rendered in the verse as gives you the decision, is also sometimes used in the sense of permitting or giving permission, as in the well-known hadith الاثم ماحك فی صدرك وان افتاك الناس i.e. a sin is that which pricks in thy mind even if people should say that it is permissible (Lisan). In this case the Quranic clause الله یفتیکم rendered as, Allah gives you His decision, may also be translated as "Allah gives you permission".

Commentary:

The verse which has been differently translated is considered to be a rather difficult one. The decision spoken of in the clause, Allah gives you His decision, refers to what follows in the succeeding verses, i.e. 4:129-131.

The allusion in the words, that which is recited to you in the Book, is to verse 4:4 in the beginning of the present Surah. It was prohibited to Muslims to marry those orphan girls whose rights they could not adequately discharge. ‘Umar, the Holy Prophet’s Second Successor, would not allow the guardians of wealthy and handsome orphan girls to marry them but would insist on better husbands being found for them. On the other hand, if they were not so wealthy or handsome, he recommended them to their guardians for marriage so that, being acquainted with their defects and weaknesses, they might overlook their shortcomings and deal kindly with them. For further instructions about good treatment of orphans; see 4: 6, 7.

Generally speaking the clause, Allah gives you His decision regarding them (women) and so does that which is recited to you in the Book concerning the orphan girls, means that some instructions about women have already been given in the Quran and other instructions follow.