ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا
2:229.
2:238; 4:33.
Important Words:
قوامون (guardians) is derived from قام i.e. he stood. They say قام علیه i.e. he tended or took care of it or him. قام بالیتم means, he maintained the orphan. قام علی المرأة means, he undertook the maintenance of the woman; he undertook or managed her affairs; he protected her, or became her guardian. قوم الشیء (qawwama) means, he set the thing right, or made it straight or even. قوام therefore means, one who manages affairs well; a ruler or governor; one in a position to issue orders (Lane & Aqrab).
قانتات (obedient) is the plural of قانتة being the active participle from قنت. They say قنت لله i.e. he was obedient to God. امرأة قنوت means, a woman humble, submissive and obedient to her husband (Lane). See also 2:117.
نشوز (disobedience) is the noun-infinitive from نشز i.e. he rose or raised himself. نشزت المرأة علی زوجھا means, the woman rose against, or was disobedient to her husband and exalted herself against him and resisted him and was an evil companion to him. نشز المرء علی زوجته means, the husband treated his wife unjustly and was unkind to her or forsook her or hated her and was an evil companion to her (Lane & Aqrab).
اھجروھن (leave them alone). ھجر means, he cut him off from friendly or loving communion or intercourse; he forsook or abandoned him; he "cut" him, i.e. he boycotted him and ceased to speak to him or to associate with him. ھجر الشیء means, he forsook, or abandoned the thing; he shunned or avoided it. ھجر زوجته means, he separated himself from his wife or kept away from her (Lane & Mufradat).
اضربوھن (chastise them) is derived from ضرب. They say ضربه i.e. he beat, struck, smote or hit him (with hand, stick, etc.); hence, he chastised him.
علیا (High) is derived from علا i.e. he or it was or became high, elevated, lofty or exalted. تعالی means, he was or became high, elevated, exalted or supremely exalted or extolled. علی means high, elevated or lofty in rank, condition or state. العلیwhich is one of the attributive names of God (e.g. 2:256) means, the High; the Most High; He above Whom is nothing. المتعالی is also an attributive name of God (e.g. 13:10) meaning, He Who is Great or Supremely Great, the High or the Most High; One Higher than every other high one. تعال means, come thou, as if said by a man in a high place when calling upon a man in a low place, but is also used generally (Lane).
Commentary:
The verse gives two reasons why man has been made the head of the family: (a) his superior mental and physical powers; (b) his being bread-earner and maintainer of the family. It is natural and fair that he who earns and supplies the money should have the final say in the disposal of affairs.
The word قانتات (obedient) spoken of wives may mean either obedient to God, or to husbands.
The expression, guard the secrets of their husbands, means that when the husbands are at home, they are obedient to them and guard their secrets; and when they are away, they not only guard their secrets but take care of their property and guard their own chastity.
The clause, leave them alone in their beds, may mean: (a) abstention from conjugal relations with them; (b) sleeping in separate beds; or (c) ceasing to talk to them. The use of the word "beds" also incidentally implies that the disobedient wives are to stay at home and are not to be allowed to leave or be turned out of their homes.
The measures mentioned in the verse are not to remain in force for an indefinite period, for wives are not to be left like a thing suspended (4:130). Four months, according to the Quran, is the utmost limit for abstention from conjugal relations, i.e. for practical separation (2:227).
If the husband deems the affair to be sufficiently grave, he will have to observe the conditions mentioned in 4:16.
Regarding "chastisement" mentioned as a last resort in the verse under comment a Companion reports the Holy Prophet to have said that if at all a Muslim has to beat his wife, the beating should not be such as to leave any mark on her body (Tirmidhi, ch. on Rida‘). According to Abu Dawud and Nasa’i, the Holy Prophet forbade the beating of women at all, but when ‘Umar complained that they had become refractory, he gave the permission with the aforementioned condition; but on complaint of ill-treatment of women by their husbands he indignantly said that the husbands who beat their wives were not the best among men (Kathir, iii). On another occasion the Holy Prophet is reported to have said: "The best among you is he who treats his wife best and I am the best of you in this respect" (Tirmidhi).
The Divine attributes of "High and Great" mentioned at the end of the verse are also intended to warn husbands that the chastisement of their wives, if at all resorted to should not be unjust or vindictive or highhanded; for if they are high and great above their wives, there is One Who is High and Great above all and He shall call husbands to account for any improper use of the qualified authority given to them over their wives.
2:229.
2:238; 4:33.
Qawwamun is derived from Qama and Qama ‘Alal-Mar’ati means, he undertook the maintenance of the woman; he protected her. Qawwamun, therefore, means, maintainers, managers of affairs; protectors (Lisan). The verse gives two reasons why man has been made the head of the family, (a) his superior mental and physical faculties; and (b) his being the bread-earner and maintainer of the family. It is, therefore, natural and fair that he, who earns and supplies the money for the maintenance of the family, should enjoy a supervisory status in the disposal of its affairs.
Nashazatu-Mar’atu ‘ala Zauji-ha means, the woman rose against her husband; resisted him; deserted him (Lane & Taj).
The clause may signify, (a) abstention from conjugal relations; (b) sleeping in separate beds; (c) ceasing to talk to them. These measures are not to remain in force for an indefinite period, for wives are not to be left like a thing suspended (4:130). Four months, according to the Qur’an, is the maximum limit for abstention from conjugal relations, i.e. practical separation (2:227). If the husband deems the affair to be sufficiently grave, he will have to observe the conditions mentioned in 4:16.
The Holy Prophet is reported to have said that if at all a Muslim has to beat his wife, the beating should not be such as to leave any mark on her body (Tirmidhi & Muslim) but the husbands who beat their wives are not the best among men (Kathir, iii).